Tripped

Circles like a merry go round call you over

And over causing you to return to point one

Before starting the circular movement

Again. Like a circle are the waves licking

You across the sand letting you ebb

And flow. Colors swirl around your

Cranium in sweet catastrophic

Symphony. Black butterflies

Cover the inside of the port-a-potty

Door, barring your return to cold comfort.

The breeze freezes your bare butt and you

Bravely pull up your shorts and push past

The butterflies, watching as they fly off into

Circut board colors. The cold is back and you

Sit on the wet covered table releshing the

Chill on your short clad legs. Fog and vomit

Comes out of your mouth like ash from a

Volcano. Numbness on your epidermis as

It nears nine o' clock. Fire dances in front of

You as you come down from your high. Never

Again, you swear. Never will you nom on

Another nasty mushroom.

Draft version 1 of Fresh Meat. (I liked em enough XP)

The chains on my ankles tinkled like the ice in a drink when the drinks left them.

"So, Miss Jacobs, why did you do it?" The prison psychiatrist asked as she scribbled on her legal pad.

"Do what? Kill my daddy?" I said as I raise my shackled hands to itch my ear, taking count of the guards at the door. There were two and they weren't all that tough looking.

"Yes"

"Because he's an asshole" I said as I looked out the barred window, the lone window on the bare wall.

"How so?"

"Look lady, you want my story or not?" I said turning back to look at her.

"Go on"

"You have to understand that bastard was just like Jesus, he just wouldn't lay down and die." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "I have been trying to kill my daddy ever since my momma died."

"Yes I see your mother passed away a little over a year ago. You were under full custody with her correct?"

"Yeah" I flicked my nose with my knuckle. "You gunna keep interrupting my thought process or can we wait on your scrutiny till the end?"

"I'm sorry Miss Jacobs, continue." She said as she scribbled that damn pen on that fucking legal pad.

"It's Anabell" I said, thinking back to the now cold corpse who punished me with his name. "It was a rainy day when I first decided I would kill my father. He killed my dog scouts cause she wouldn't  stop barking at him for beating me. I loved that dog. She was the last true friend I had and he just killed her." I readjusted in my seat. "I tried a shotgun first, figured it could rip him a new one. Flesh wound, I missed but that didn't make my life any easier just made his mood sour for the next few weeks." I chuckled then. He wouldn't be drinking anymore. "My momma was a strong woman. Real southern cowgirl. I was so happy when she left my daddy. So happy he wouldn't be putting me to bed or helping me bathe anymore."

"Your parents divorced when you were 6 right?" The psychiatrist said.

Be Mine

I stared at Mark in disbelief. "You want me to do what on camera?" I said as I sat on my bed that was covered with rose petals that Mark had prepared.

            "Come on babe it's our first V-day together so I thought we could V- cam together. What's so bad about it?" Mark asked as he continued to adjust the tripod and web cam that were affixed to my bookcase.

            "No, look I just don't feel comfortable with this. I mean I'm only 16." I said as I pulled the blanket over my lingerie clad body. Today was supposed to be romantic, supposed to be special, but here Mark was trying to brag to his friends again.

            Mark crawled on the bed and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Okay babe, if you don't want this then we don't have to do it." He said as he began to kiss my neck and move the blanket off of me.

            I bit my lip and let my eyes flutter back as I moaned.

            He trailed kisses to my breast.

            "Why is the camera light on?"  I asked as I sat up.

            "Huh?"

            "The light Mark" I said as I pushed him away and began to cover myself in my blanket once more.

            "It's the standby light Tash, chill" He said as he pushed me down and began to slip one hand up to my butt.

            I began to struggle as his weight pushed me down. I tried to scream but his mouth came down onto mine like a vicegrip. I bit his tongue and all I could remember was the sting of his fist as everything went dark.

Twisted

The small apartment I shared seemed even more compact as she pulled her thigh high fishnets up to the garter clips so they could sink their alligator teeth into the soft hose, the way I wanted to sink into the warm body who wore them.

            "You stare anymore and I'm gunna have to start chargin' ya," she said, sliding her skirt down.

            I shook my head "What" I heard myself ask as I reached for my purse and began rifling through the junk searching for some gloss.

            "What? Are you joking? A blind man could see you staring from a football field away." She came over to me.

            I could smell her perfume, it was like the first smell of spring, fresh and floral, not something you would think a hooker would wear.

            She slid one manicured nail under my chin, forcing my gaze to hers. "You lookin for a date sugar?" She asked as she bent down to whisper in my ear "I'll give ya a discount since youre cute."

            I could feel my face begin to heat up and my palms were sweating so much I dropped my purse.

            Her lips were softer than a gummy worm.

3 am

The bed called to me as if

deeply hidden in the sea of sights and

sounds, the trecherous waves taming for no

one. I looked at my pillow, in the

adjoining room, soft and serene, like that first

love you can never forget. The zebra patterned

pillowcase embedding itself into my partially concious

mind. The cold air playing on my skin

only made me long for the warm

blue blanket to bind my body as I

would fall into the darkness to attend

my nightfall activity. The televisons harsh lights flashed

from fire red to ferocious blues, making

me long for the darkness to encroach upon me.

The sounds blaring from the bruised and

battered speakers seemed to beckon my mind to

the quiet solitary comfort of the room

next door. The remote, silver in the dim

light, sat unaggrivated, aimed at the annoying

screen that rested near the edge of the

door. The dark chesnut door that would

lead to a deep peaceful night. I turned

off the noisemaker, nulling the painful rythm

and forcing the lights to nap in their

pixels, quiet, dark and still. I stood,

making my way through the doorway and to

my melodiously quiet room which now seemed

miraculously alive as I went to perform my

nightly ritual.

Abused [Published]

I am the crumpled paper

covered in the fading marks that

were left on the page after

 you tried to erase the meaning there.

The soft eraser burns my face

as it moves across the surface.

you blow and I am wiped

clean of dust and residue. Your

hand slaps me and my marks

fade further into nothingness. You

rewrite your sentence, the pencil

never slowing as it dances

leaving gray shades of words

over my mountainous landscape.

The dance stops and your finger,

soft and warm, runs me over

and you smile, kiss me, then

leave me alone in the

cold dark room. Not even

looking back as you shut

the door, leaving me only with

the notes on our time

together.

Death is Beginning

Happiness happens when heartbreak shatters

Your calm reserve. An ocean wave whipping

On your wasteland of a cranium. The Siren's

Song hits your stomach and makes you lose

Your lunch and lungs. Voiceless, your

conciousness vaults into darkness of

Voyeuristic intention. Remaining translucent

In rythm of watery symphony and running

Blissful discord. No more nuances or naive

Social rules just nothing but black beauty. You

Lift to lick the surface and live in a life only

Remembering the ocean under the system

Of smells and sights. But hope for heartbreak

To make happiness happen is harsh on the

Mind and may tear out the soul. Be warned

Of sirens and ships. Don't eat and swim.

Sorry I havent posted lately! Update Loathing of a Luscious Cruise Ship

Ok switching from just poetry soon. Just to add more stuff...hope this can handle my huge portfolio....

Cruise ship you sicken me. How can

You live with yourself? You mind control the

Weak not just by your way with waves,

But the all you can eat buffets,

The excursions we took where we learned

To make more food, or when we walked

The Mayan ruins that made us long for the

Stateroom balcony. Your lido deck filled with

Chairs, the molten chocolate cakes we ordered every

Single night, the serenity lounge where we

Watched the day waste away while sharing a

Pina coloda your minions happily provided. Your

Free room service mom didn't have to pay

For, your strawberry chocolate frozen yogurt. The

On-demand movies. Oh cruise ship, how i love

To loathe your luscious amenities. How dare

you make me leave.